Weather Changes
I am having one of those dreaded dry spells. Filled with headaches and meaningless jumbled dreams. But I have been listening to music. Live and Yes, the Beatles. Because I think, lyrically, those bands define my insides. Nature and love. Sappy, cheeseball stuff. Everyone should love eachother. Death is a part of life. We all need each other. Help your friends. That kinda stuff. It's really funny how I feel how important that stuff is but I find it so hard to execute on a daily basis. even to the most important people to me. Even to the person I love the most in this world. I just can't give in to the love I feel. I never have been able to. I don't think anyway. Why? I can't grow any patience. And it's sad. How innocent and pure he is and how honest his love is for me. Why can't I reciprocate? I feel it inside. I just can't let it out. Let it be. Hah.
posted by Agent Kitten @ 9:24 PM
5 Comments:
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What the F was that? Certainly was some drunk speak.
Remember everything I said to you tonight? My situation has allowed me to mature in ways that you will never know. I feel enlightened, or something. It's really weird. Someday, I will get the chance to impart all of this new knowledge to you, and I can't wait until that day comes. You have taken many leaps of faith in your short life. Take a few more and just let go. That is my advice to you.
Something else I wanted to add after some thought. Maybe your perception of loving is incorrect. I mean, I just left a relationship where I felt loved everyday by the simple fact that she was there. She didn't have to outwardly show it every waking hour of the day. I just felt it. However, it turned out that she did need it shown to her ever waking hour of the day, but I just couldn't at that time. Maybe just being there is enough. It was enough for me, and I told her that. Did you ever think of that?
some people want to be affirmed all the time. others are more quiet and want presence to be testimony enough to their feelings. some fall in between. and then there are the folks like me that have no idea what would be right and couldn't line item it even with a gun to my head.
each person deserves to love and be loved in the way s/he wants to be loved. finding the right fit is a life's work. and a worthwhile one.
[found you by way of kory's blog. hope that's ok.]
thanks ab. i am the sort that needs confirmation, and i appreciate your commenting on my blog. beautifully said.
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