Weather Changes

I am having one of those dreaded dry spells. Filled with headaches and meaningless jumbled dreams. But I have been listening to music. Live and Yes, the Beatles. Because I think, lyrically, those bands define my insides. Nature and love. Sappy, cheeseball stuff. Everyone should love eachother. Death is a part of life. We all need each other. Help your friends. That kinda stuff. It's really funny how I feel how important that stuff is but I find it so hard to execute on a daily basis. even to the most important people to me. Even to the person I love the most in this world. I just can't give in to the love I feel. I never have been able to. I don't think anyway. Why? I can't grow any patience. And it's sad. How innocent and pure he is and how honest his love is for me. Why can't I reciprocate? I feel it inside. I just can't let it out. Let it be. Hah.

In your back yard

Everything blew in the biting winter wind

But the branches of the berry trees

The tall pines were in constant sway

The left over leaves tumbled to find a home

But the snow capped red berries stood

Like rocks against Mother, they stood

The glass broke and fell to the ground

Smithereens

And the myriad shimmery shards

Sat unexampled against Mother

I touched each shining fragment

With each fingertip

All himself

He loves with all of himself

Every freckle on his shoulders

Every tear from his eyes

And every yellow fiber in his green iris

Every crease on his palms

All of the blonde hairs on his cheekbones

And the wrinkles on his lips

???

Symptoms are returning
Crawling out of sleep

Crawling across the floor
Fast-forwarding some sick sort of
evolution

Use pressure on the skull
Break your own finger
Slice your own wrist

Swollen fingers
Turn blue and purple
Useless fucking fingers

Moaning into sleep
Groaning into bed

Almost 4 months old

I wander

Through dark pines

And fish climb

And birds quiet

I wonder

Can it hold on

Till morning comes

Like an egg thief

Or a sore heart

Can your eyes move

And your heart not

Can your soul break

What your heart wants

Unhungry

Why don’t I get the rest of things out of the car?

Or smoke a cigarette

How could I unlove you?

Give the anorexic girls a mirror with

A

Crack

Down the middle

Give me something to cry about

If this smile doesn’t go away

I think I’ll go to bed

Bullet in the Head

I killed those two birds

In the mid-afternoon sun

Sweat dripped from my chin

The male had fallen ill

And had to be put out of misery

This was all in the parking lot

Where we went to the party

Where your mom sold cupcakes

I pretended not to care

And I climbed up to the roof

I tried to be pretty

I tried to make a scene

I could tell by the way the female followed him

And squawked when she couldn’t see him

That she wouldn’t be able to live without him

So I killed her too

Because she might as well have been dying

Now

i am in love
wake at 6 am to look at you love

me, i will cook for you love
moaning, sighing love

stack it to the heavens love
yes, i will wait for you love

take off your boots after work love
i will finally be patient love

Understones

Definitively

Understones

Yes, under four years worth of weight

I stepped out

Stepped out for a smoke

But I don’t think I’ll be back

Because outside I saw the sun

And it warmed my flesh

Through the tissues to my soul

It held my hand

And it…

anticipated

Anticipation

Why didn’t I ever think of that?